Thursday, January 29, 2009

What Men Want

"If it can't be fixed by duct tape or WD-40... it's a female problem."

Every now and then I get asked "What do men want?." Today seemed like a good day to answer the never ending question! so ladies, grab some pen and paper and take notes...hahaha.

The problem is not the fact that you dont find the answer; the problem is that WOMEN look on the wrong places. ALL books and magazines which talk about what men want, are written by women. You havent realized that yet???
Men are the simplest of beings. Our brains are not made to have us express ourselves in any other way which is not A SIMPLE WAY. We don't say "I was hinting you that" or "but I thought you would realize it" we tell you straight forward. If we are hungry, we say we are hungry; if we are mad, you know we are mad...PERIOD.

But what do men want??? here we go. Men want 3 simple things. Great sex, good food, and some space. Yup, STOP BUYING A MILLION MAGAZINES, there are no more secrets to look up, and there is no harder science to it.

Great sex- Did I already say we are simple minded? YES. Give your man a lot of sex( Just the 2 of you, I don’t believe in 3-somes and other things). Men love sex, and you will always keep him happy if you give him enough of it. However, if he is pressuring you into a 3-some or some type of orgy, leave him because he doesn't love you. NO LOVING MAN WANTS TO SHARE HIS WOMAN WITH ANYONE.

Good food- Have you ever seen an angry man right after he had a good meal? NO. In prison, before they send a man to the electric chair, what do they give him? ANYTHING HE WANTS TO EAT. Food is our delight... we love eating. Women always want guys to take them to dinner; try taking him to a good steakhouse for once. Surprise him with a good meal and you will see some joy and gratitude. If you're broke, get him some nachos...THE END.

Space- We need our space. Just because we need space doesn't mean that we don't love you. This is one of the big problems women have with men. Space doesn't mean we are going to automatically cheat. We need some time to get off the stress.

THE BIG NO NO: You just had sex with your man, and he is happy just staring at the ceiling; what do you do? you ask him "what are you thinking???" HE IS NOT THINKING ANYTHING. THERE IS NO BLOOD IN OUR BRAINS AT THAT MOMENT, SO STOP ASKING. We are so calm and relaxed at that moment, please don’t kill the moment.

It is as simple as that, I know there are other topics like CHEATING MEN, but they should be treated as OTHER TOPICS. Today's topic was WHAT MEN WANT, and that is all a man wants.
In the words of the great Chriss Rock... Feed me, Fuck me, and Shut the hell up. HAHAHA this sounds too mean, but it’s a mean version of putting it.

So in conclusion, men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.



PS- This post is only meant for fun purposes and it is not meant to offend any women or men. Thank you.

PSS- Stop buying magazines; the question has been answered. =)

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