Monday, May 25, 2009

Men's Fears

"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others."

Men never talk about this. The problem is that we have always been taught to toughen up. This is a very delicate topic for us because we will never admit to it. Without further due…here are Men’s worst fears:

Going Bald- This sucks. Women have no idea how freaking sad it is to see your hair disappear. Nowadays you see men shaving their heads as if looking like a Q-ball is going to bring back their lost confidence. Shaving your head is a way to say “FUCK IT, I LOST THE BATTLE.” Whenever you see someone with a shaved head, he is not comfortable, he just got tired of combing over his hair from one side to the other.

Being broke- Here is another true one for the records. Being broke sucks, not only because you have to eat 99 cent burgers for lunch, but because you can’t take a girl out in fear that you will look cheap. Broke guys don’t have a social life. No girl wants to go out with a broke ass… they rather stay home. I’m not saying women love money, but it’s sad to see someone ask you out, and you paying. Living with Grandma when you are 40 is just sad.

Unwanted kids- If there is something guys fear is an unwanted kid popping out of the blue. I know I sound like a major Dick right now, but there are some women who get pregnant on purpose. I know what you’re going to say “WEAR A CONDOM!” well here’s my dickish response “CLOSE YOUR LEGS.” Hahaha. I’ve known cases when the guy breaks up the relationship, and mysteriously the girl gets pregnant the next day. After that “Mr. Child support knocks on your door… and it’s all downhill from there.”

Sucking at sex- Women know this one. If it wasn’t that traumatizing to a guy, then women wouldn’t need to fake orgasms. Apparently looking at PORN since you are 14 does not mean you’ll be an ORGASM MACHINE; neither does the fact that your right hand has been your best friend for years. The worst thing is that some men don’t actually read the books and magazines, so they don’t care to educate themselves better. You suck in bed? Date an older woman…Hmmm. This is also the reason why Viagra sells so much, because if nature can’t help you, science will.

Loneliness- Sure men don’t want to commit…YET. Give him a few years, when he gets fat, bald, and overly hairy from the neck down, and has no girlfriend. Scary thought. Men need someone by their side to give them hell (women hahaha). Loneliness makes men uncomfortable and insecure. That’s why you see bald Chewbaka at the club sometimes…drinking by himself and begging for attention.

Cheating wife- This is the mother of all fears. Every time a couple argues, and stops talking; the first question when they get together is “Have you been with anyone?” Trust me, as long as you are not fucking anyone else…he will forgive you. If he doesn’t come back though, is because he found someone else.

That’s it. There is one more, but that one will be on another post by itself.



Tuesday, April 28, 2009


"...And out of nothing, poetry is born."


Just like a dream…
My fantasy touched reality
When my fingers caressed your face
And I lost myself in your beauty.

Just like a dream…
My body found yours
Like the light finds the sun,
The day I least expected.

Just like a dream…
My soul entangled yours
And danced a soundless melody
Of passion and joy.

Just like a dream…
Your eyes imprisoned mine
And erased time from my memory
As my present became you.

Just like a dream…
A subtle whisper of profound happiness
Fills my mind with the need of having you
As if I could only exist if you exist.

Just like a dream…
A mixture of sublime feelings
Forever stamped unto my chest
Letting my heart know it belongs to you.

And as words could only fail to interpret
The abstract moment our lives encountered
I find myself in an ever ending trance
…Just like a dream.


PS- Thanks to the person who inspired this.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

The Blaming Game

“If you don’t succeed in life…blame it on your parents.”

I wrote on my last post about “Kids and society.” It talked about how they keep finding excuses for kid’s behavior nowadays. Here’s a summary… Parents should have more communication with their kids. That’s it.

I got GREAT responses from the readers who began to share their ideas. One reader, whom I consider a friend, wrote about CHOICE and how we choose to do things in life. Well, my friend beat me to it, because I was going to write about that too.
We love to play something I call THE BLAMING GAME. What does that mean? It means that if I succeed in life I thank God for it, but if I fail…I blame you for it.

That is what happens nowadays. We are in a society where everything is someone else’s fault. The fast food companies got sued a while ago because people got fat. The tobacco companies got sued because people were getting lung cancer. Victoria’s secret is going to get sued because she won’t reveal her damn secret. I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story” because IT ENDED. So you see?

Where is the word CHOICE in this? Don’t we choose to do things anymore? If a commercial tells you to go rob a bank, do you do it? If the Cheetah Girls tell you to go adopt some cheetahs, do you go and get your kids cheetahs?
I’m sure that kids watch a lot of TV, they play lots of violent video games, they listen to a lot of Rap and Metal music… but why aren’t parents talking to them?
“I’m a loser because my father is an alcoholic” WHAT IF maybe your father is an alcoholic because you’re a loser? Hahaha.

I think that by the time a child has becomes a teenager, freedom of choice becomes a factor… but CHOICES seem to be common sense sometimes. DRUGS ARE BAD, DRINKING AND DRIVING KILLS, OBEY THE LAW, DON’T GO SHOOTING PEOPLE, DONT BEAT UP YOUR LANDLORD… does it really take a rocket scientist to figure those out?

Is it society’s fault that your kid is a screw up? I’ll give a few personal examples. My dad grew up in a really bad neighborhood. He grew up on something like a Ghetto full of everything your mind only sees on a Hollywood movie. He took himself out of that, and he’s never been a felon. Why??? Because he chose to be a positive example.

Here’s another example. I went to high school in the US. I’ve lived my life here since I was 9 years old. Although I grew up here, had many friends, went to parties, had girlfriends… I’ve never taken drugs, I never smoked a cigarette, and I had my first beer when I was 25. Why? Because I wanted to. My dad taught me to not be a follower.
So why do we find excuses for people’s fuckups? Because it is harder to admit that we look for our own troubles. When I hear about Amsterdam (We‘ve all heard about Amsterdam), I think… what do they do with their lawsuits? Everyone seems to take responsibility over there.

Stop blaming society for people’s poor choices! that’s all. If I killed a hooker (what a bad example)… never mind, you get the point.



Thursday, February 26, 2009

Bad Kids and Society

"Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish."

I was reading an article which states that they’re linking smoking in HOLLYWOOD MOVIES to kids wanting to smoke. This is the same reason they killed JOE CAMEL from Camel cigarettes. Apparently, everything that kids watch, they copy. How much more of this crap do I have to hear? Why do they try to find more excuses for people’s behavior?

I hate it when they make statements like…“Kids see guns on TV, they hear violence in Rap music, and they just grow up wanting to imitate it.” and my question is WHERE ARE THE PARENTS? Oh yeah, they’re too busy leaving their kids with grandma so they can go clubbing.

Here’s a question. I see lots of cooking shows on TV, how come I don’t see kids cooking? I see TRUTH commercials (the annoying anti smoking commercials), how come they don’t copy those either? I see COPS on TV everyday… I don’t hear about kids catching criminals either. SO WHY do we keep using that as an excuse to bad behavior?

Messed up kids are the product of messed up parents…PERIOD. Stop blaming society and the media for your spoiled kids. It pisses me off every time I see some violent kid on the news, he says he learned it playing video games. He learned that, but he couldn’t learn anything at school? Come on!
It is the fact that there is LACK OF COMMUNICATION at home, that is messing up these kids. Today’s youth has no respect for their elders, they have no respect for society, and they’re dropping out of school each year.

Did you all hear about the kid that dropped out of school to play GUITAR HERO? This is too much!!! If I would have told my dad that I was going to drop out of school to play MARIO BROS. (Yeah I’m old) he would have kicked my ass.

Start correcting your kids people, if TIME OUT doesn’t work then use the old KNOCK OUT (I’m playing) but be more strict with them. Talk to your kids and stop leaving it for the government or school to do all the educating. EDUCATION STARTS AT HOME.

The day I hear about kids dancing on the street because they saw it on MAMMA MIA! (That movie sucks) Then I’ll start believing those stupid theories.

Enough said,


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Original Poem

"Love makes time pass. Time makes love pass."


…And to think I once loved you.
The way you smiled, the way you looked,
The way you’d make me dream with a simple “I love you.”
My body felt the need of you, as if you were some drug causing an addiction.

My world… a mixture of chaos and despair;
An imaginary cell that wouldn’t let me look beyond or move forward.
It was a life sentence that kept me trapped around your memories.
It was a self inflicted wound that didn’t seem to close.

…And to think I once loved you.
The way my soul shattered into a million pieces as I saw you walk away.
Lying lifeless on the ground, screaming in silence constantly asking myself
what I did to push you away.

But the answers never came.
It was an unsolved puzzle with empty spaces and no solutions.
It was a vicious circle of negative feelings that turned love
Into some type of obsession.

…And to think I once loved you.
Longing for you to return, staring at a timeless clock, and filling my mind
With hopeless wishes. Looking at old pictures, re-living old moments,
As if re-living was a way to bring your soul next to mine on an empty afternoon.

Yet time heals, and as I look back to a tainted illusion that I once called love.
The false feeling that life would cease to exist if I didn’t have you.
I slowly picked myself up from the ground, with no tears left in me, and no pain left to feel.
I moved on… I left you in the past, and I moved on.

…And to think I once loved you.



Saturday, February 7, 2009

Turning 30

"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the National Debt."

OH MY GOD I’m 30. Just yesterday I was walking on diapers; just yesterday I was getting pimples all over my face, and today I’m 30. One thing that no one ever mentions, is that you don’t feel OLDER, you just get there. WHERE THE HELL ARE THE BROCHURES THAT SHOW YOU THAT?
Why does it happen so gradual that you don’t feel it? And why does it have to hit you on the face on your freaking BIRTHDAY???

Turning 30 is an interesting experience… people start seeing you different:

Teenagers- See you as an old fart.
People in their 20’s - Think you are mature.
People in their 30’s - Think you’re interesting.
People in their 40’s - Have sex with you and tell their friends they’re doing a “Younger Guy.”
People in their 50's - Still think you are in diapers.
People in their 60's and up - Are wearing diapers, so they don't say anything.

In other words, you are still young enough to be around, but too old to screw around. I find myself in a time of meditation, looking back at all my f**k ups, and looking forward to my now called GOALS. I think that life is broken down into decades. You really party in your 20’s, You make money in your 30’s and you start enjoying in your 40’s.
If by the time you hit middle age, you are still washing Lettuce at Burger King (Then I wonder why people hate me), chances are you won’t be Donald Trump by the time you retire.

This is also the time when you start considering having kids for some mysterious reason (If you still don’t have any). I remember finding kids annoying…then one day, they began to make me smile; so I ran to the bathroom and slapped myself. Now I actually think about it more often… and I still slap myself.

Some people fall into some type of crisis though, thank God I’m not one of those (Yet). I am happy with the way I’ve lived my life, I wish I had done more by now, but I’m happy. I feel like I am accomplishing my goals. I don’t see me buying a Corvette convertible anytime soon, or putting on my Miami Vice outfit and hang out at the club on HIGHSCHOOL NIGHT. YUCK… we all hate the “Old man at the club.”
The only thing about getting older though, is that you don’t get as many presents as you did when you were little. No POKEMON toys for me. Hahaha.

Overall, I think turning 30 is a great time in my life. I take things more seriously, I am more methodical, and I am old enough to party whenever I want, without having to tell mom and dad that I’ll be home late.
So there you go, I’m 30 now, and from now on I’ll turn 30 every year.



PS- I wrote this post on the day I turned 30... just wanted to share it with you guys.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Life Lessons

“Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.”

I was thinking of ways to contribute to the Blogger community and I finally got it. It took a lot of research (and internet browsing) to get this next little thing going. I have a few "LIFE LESSONS" to make you smile and ponder, but most importantly… make you a wiser person . Here we go:

I hope you learn something from this.